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Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding. I was only able to relax around non-Jewish women, because I didn’t feel the same pressure; that’s how I met, and fell in love with, my wife.In several places in the Jewish Bible, there are relations which appear to be intermarriages - for example, King David is described as marrying the daughter of the king of Geshur, (PLease note - this is not what Nehemaih cited refers to. refers to not buying grain on the Sabbath and forgiving debts in the 7th year.Last summer, I experienced this pressure first-hand.A prominent rabbi argued to me that too few students were getting married in college.In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.After one date, though, I would beat myself up mentally for breaking my rule, and I’d avoid making second dates.

Forced divorce and excommunication of foreign women previously married to the Jews of Israel does ocur in Ezra chapter 10.

In the modern Orthodox world of dating, blind dates have become an accepted norm whether it is through the Internet or through the inspiration of well-meaning friends.

The mindset in which we approach dating can be very telling of whom I am, rather than whom the person is that I am going to meet. Do we heed the words of Hillel: “what is unpleasant to you, do not do to another?

In Vayikra Chapter 25 verse 17, the Torah commands: “And you shall not hurt (the feelings of) one another and you shall fear Hashem, for I, Hashem, am thy Lord.” Rav Hirsch explains that since the prohibition in an earlier verse (14) refers to hurting another financially, this verse cannot possibly mean the same.

Therefore, Rav Hirsch concludes that it is an extension of the prohibition of hurting someone in business dealings, which includes the prohibition of hurting someone’s feelings either by words or by deeds.




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